Robert van Ee

Today is March 1, 2014. My youngest Son Robert Christian van Ee (RC) told me that he had found his Brother (my oldest Son) Robert Brandon van Ee (Brandon). I have been looking for twelve years – with no success.

RC listens to what most fourteen years old in West Michigan listen to and I must say so do I. Usher I believe has a son “Daddy, Daddy” and in that or a similar song is the phrase “why did you leave me when I was ten?”

I heard that song for the first time this past January, and the phrase “why did you leave e when I was ten?” has stuck in my head ever since.

When Brandon was ten, he called me on the telephone, his mother and Aunt Tracy in the background: “Dad, I do not want to see you anymore”, and, with that he was gone…

…I wrote to the Friend of the Court, I called, I went to their apartment, I went to his school…

…all no good I could not find him, Friend of the Court who received my money and sent it to his mother was no help.

Brandon I never left you. Apparently your mother moved you to Hamilton or Holland, Friend of the Court would not tell me.

When you were eighteen and about to graduate from a school near Holland I got a telephone call:

…”hello, you don’t know me (said the caller) Brandon is graduating from (the school near Holland) this spring”…

…”Thank you” I was saying as the phone clicked. I knew the voice, I knew the call was true and the information correct.

With a little research I found the school and then the graduation date. With a little trepidation I showed up at that High School’s Football Field on the Day of Graduation. I heard Brandon’s name, watched him cross in front of the podium…

…that is about all I heard, and then the Graduation Ceremony was dismissed, and, Brandon who had grown to be a tall young man was walking about the ball field…

…it had been eight years, yes I was nervous, but I had to do it…

…I walked onto the ball field amidst many people, slowly making my way towards Brandon, when this big ‘ole young man walked rapidly up to me and picked me up in a bear hug.

Brandon and I had time together maybe three different times. Brandon met RC when RC was quite young. Then it appeared that Brandon and his mother moved. I had no new phone number and the old one’s did not work.

Brandon is a bright and capable man. I was not around in his youth to tell him that he should care, that he could do things, that he should believe…

…in himself and what he could do, if he wanted to. I blame the State of Michigan first and foremost, who always thinks children need their permissive mothers to lead them astray, but I thought perhaps I had learned some things.

Not surprisingly, Robert Christian’s mother shares some traits with Brandon’s mother. I have fought for RC’s right to go to Church, be a Boy Scout, be an Athlete, be a Scholar. Other people tell RC there ARE consequences to your choices…

…and that is about the totality of their encouragement for RC to be all that he can be.

As I type this Robert Christian is mad at me, he choose not to spend the weekend with his father, and his mother and her boyfriend joined in a diatribical assault on me excusing RC’s choices. RC has some homework, from his high school classes, that is overdue. When RC wants to work at it he can be an athlete and when he does not…well…

RC has discovered semantic obfuscation (he sounds just like his mother when he is trying to get his way), and at fourteen, is trying to find where his boundaries are, and, is frustrated when I call him on semantic obfuscation. RC can be and should be an Honors student, should excel in music and athletics and even robotics…

…if he could tear himself away from video games.

Robert Brandon, I did not walk away when you were ten, I have been in the phone book (616) 264-8800 for a few years. Perhaps things are not working out quite the way you might hope they would.

Tiger, Brandon how can I help?

RC, Peanut, the future is yours to grasp, how can I help?

My boys, your mothers found ways to split us up, to dismiss your failures and never set high expectations for two young men who could and can…

…most certainly you both have heard diatribical attacks on me…

…most certainly it takes less effort to be lazy, but the rewards are less too…

My boys, my boys I am here shall we woirk…


…to build better futures?


Your Dad (the oldest living Robert) []

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3 Responses to Robert van Ee

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  2. Pingback: Robert van Ee | West Michigan DADS

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